Relationships (Part III)

All right. This will most probably be the last serious post of the year 2009. Time flies and I realise I haven't been working out, there goes my physical ability. Not that I can flaunt that in the first place, so not that big a lost. As for NAPFA, never have I before breezed through it, and never will I guess, unless some miracle happens. Meanwhile, I will just have to struggle through it. Wonder why people can ace in it so easily, not like they did work out in the holidays. Have to do with childhood days I think, what people call building the foundation? Body-building follows this as well, perhaps. Enough crapping, this has nothing to do with the title.

Today, I was a little emotional, because of a few events piled together. Ironic, since I have not been doing much in the holidays besides sitting in front of my laptop. Surprisingly and unknowingly (at that period of time), one of my close friends (a junior [in year]) consoled me. I remember lamenting about him not having done that before (I'm very daring right, but I was interested in the reason), but well, I can shut my mouth up now.

I do not have any siblings. Not like I can help it. Of course I do sometimes wonder what it's like to have one. I am not proficient in communications with seniors, but I do have an affinity with juniors. As for people of the same year, I guess I can be deemed as normal in relations. From various people, whether close friends or cousins (especially 3 people), I do have a taste of having siblings. It's still vastly different, I know, as living together is something I cannot achieve. But well, daily communication will have to suffice for my experience in this area. You can say I yearn for this experience. I suppose having sibling relations are valuable, as blood's always thicker than water, and you need not make family decisions by yourself (sharing the responsibility). It grows more valuable with age, no doubt. I do hear a lot of friends and acquaintances whining and complaining about their siblings now, but well it's extremely lonely to be alone, with no one to talk to (yes, parents do have a generation gap, albeit they hoping for its non-existence). Most of the things in life requires gritting of teeth and bearing with things you do not like, tolerance is a virtue too. Can be cultivated via encounters daily with siblings, another plus point. Well, this is just my opinion that I think having siblings is good, one may have other views. "Respect for difference", Singapore moral education is successful in my case. =D Got through to the brain -- mostly. This should be the end of my series of active exploration/experimentation in the area of relations and character (my own). Got to be a relief to certain people, haha. In fact, I'm relieved too, because I find myself quite scary being able to adapt to different people by adopting their individual styles (trying out). I guess I'll stick to my own now. After all, everyone's special, isn't it?

Spectrum

Hasn't been blogging. Not going to ignore this blog like my previous one in Sec. 1 though. This is going to be a short one. I have thought of a spectrum range to describe relations between people (oh yes, relations again :P). So here goes nothing.

(Worst) Arch Enemy <-- Enemy <-- Fiend <-- Eyesore <-- Stranger (Neutral) --> Familiar --> Acquaintance --> Friend --> Best friend (Best)

Of course, in the range of this spectrum, more descriptions can be inserted to show progression, especially the area around "Friend", but I am just providing a general spectrum for consideration of the place of where you are to any person of your interest. =D

Relationships (Part II)

Now my posts are having a pattern of having 2 parts, partly because I always procrastinate for the first part (when I intend for it to stand alone itself, i.e. no parts, just one post) to have time to wonder until I format a second part in my brain (i.e. additional information, in continuation to the first part, which I have not planned for). Sounds confusing, even to me. Pardon my inadequate command of English. :P But that's neither important nor the main focus.
Firstly, let me share what I suppose are the typical ways of avoiding a topic because you are uncomfortable with it (does not mean you are right to avoid it) [let's call the topic X].
1) Change the subject. Bring it back to the former topic spoken before X was brought up, or just get some common topic that both of you are interested in, or are concerned with.
2) Distract. Bring the other guy's attention to something insignificantly random, insist that it's significant, get him pissed and hope he forgets about X.
3) Saviour. Some other person comes to claim that guy's attention. Or you remind him of an urgent matter he must settle.
4) Ignore. Pretend you never heard or go into a long lapse of silence to protest against that topic. After all ignorance is bliss, or is it not. -.-
5) Hype up. Either you make a great fool of yourself by spouting a whole lot of nonsense (i.e. still not addressing X) or you make a great fuss out of X (going into emoism, hopefully the other guy pities you and does not push X on you any further)
6) Deny. I do not know anything about X. Full stop. End of story. You can go home now.
7) Die hard. Just blatantly refuse to answer, like 4), but you show it to the guy that you are not budging on the topic of X.
8) Select. Addresses some unimportant or less significant parts of X that you find comfortable with, and let the other guy think that you have satisfied the demand of X, when you actually have not. ._.
9) Roundabout. Like merry-go-round? Hope you do. Because people who use this give little details here and there, and leave you confused (like in a maze of mirrors) to piece together the big puzzle (w/o giving everything in the 1st place, but you're already too bewildered anyway).
There are actually so many ways to avoid. One doesn't work, let's try another. But do not take the other party as a fool, or you will pay a heavy price. >.< Oh ya, one more thing, the above methods do not work on me. XD
Secondly, I'll go back to the ball analogy in the last post. Very paiseh if you are not comfortable with the analogy, but I'm not very competent, you know. :S
Again I have not referenced any books on psychology, this is just my opinion. Humans are smart and are social animals. Put these two traits together and I have a big headache. Different people, different traits, different preferences. I have learnt to tread carefully. Lol. Sounds like communicating with friends and other people is like minesweeper, one wrong step, game over. But luckily, one can always restart, just whether the other party allows. Humans with relatively high intelligence do have larger responsibility. Zzz.
Ok, that was a sidetrack. Back to the ball analogy on the topic of receiving critiques. Some people are balls made of titanium. Absolutely no advice gets through to them. They are more than satisfied with who they are. Well, good luck to them, hope they have nurtured themselves good characters, if not they are gg-fied. Sounds horrible? Not yet. Some are made of extremely elastic rubber. Whoever takes a shoot at them, gets a rebound. All advice and criticism will be changed to niaoing of the same magnitude in damage, if not more, directed like a homing missile, back at you. These people are very dominating and their favourite pastime if ordering people around. Whoever opposes them with be eliminated without a trace, banished to living hell. Some are made of glass, whenever critiques, big or small, are received, they literally shatter and break down (emo and ponder over themselves). Not really a bad thing actually. The rest are made of plastic, partially and semi permeable. Those who are partially permeable selects the critiques which they like and disregard the rest. Roflmao, having a partially permeable membrane isn't that good now, isn't it? Sadly, most people are like that, but they are not conscious of it themselves. Those balls which are semi-permeable are the most successful. They pick according to sincerity and usefulness (like how semi-permeable membrane sieves solely by size), then reform themselves for the better. Love these people. =)
Thirdly, I'm going to add on to the posts of Ways of Thinking. I left out one important element of thinking, which is conscience. No normal person can comfortably do anything against their conscience and not feel guilty for long periods afterwards, the magnitude of guiltiness corresponding linearly with the magnitude of deed done against one's conscious. One's conscious can actually eat one alive, and let that guy go utterly miserable with worrying about the outcome and regretting his action (or inaction). If one did something on you that goes against his conscience and both of you know it, you have a very viable and powerful weapon in your hands. He'll probably try to make up to the best he can, but you better do not misuse it, or your conscience will be struck, and the situation will be reversed. :P

Relationships

Ok, 1 month + of rotting in boredom has taken place. The effects have been felt. Am I to continue for another month +? Or maybe I should go to work and earn some money for myself. There has been some recommendations... I will just face a computer and do administrative work if I do work, just wonder can access Facebook and MSN at the same time. Most probably not openly. :P

For the past 1 month +, I have been doing nothing much, except chatting with friends online to curb my boredom. In the meantime, I have been subconsciously thinking about how humans communicate. Recently then I have realised I was wondering about this for the whole time. Roflmao. I always do not know what I am doing at first, and will only find out after a period of time. That's probably why I am no good in English expository essays, you need to have a fair idea before you write, but frequently I just probe around and do not know what my main point is until the end. Zzz, too late to find this out, isn't it?

Humans are very complicated animals, with high intelligence making relations all the more unfathomable. Thus, I shall just simplify humans to round balls. Makes things much easier. The inner core of the ball is determined by your beliefs and your absorbed teachings of life and society. What are on the surface of the ball are the characteristics of the human, and can be changed according to their beliefs. From the ball are protrusions called attacher sites. The process of approaching and communicating is also extremely simplified. One ball (A) approaches another ball (B) and observes the surface of the ball of interest. If it is satisfied, it uses its attacher site to attach to the other's one and a conversation starts. As time passes, A will know what makes up the inner core of B and vice versa. What's previously been hidden or not shown will be made known. Oh yes, the surface of a ball can also be modified by the workings of the core, to make it look like it is one it isn't, but this cannot of course be maintained if another spends a long time with it. Some balls are permanently attached, i.e. family and those related by blood. Others who do not fall into that category can be detached. The protrusions of the attacher sites are hollow, anything can pass through. As time passes and A & B communicates, the attacher sites become stronger and harder to break. Similarly relationships can turn sour, and acids corrode the attacher sites, and the balls can break away easily.

Yay, I simplified a very complicated topic into one paragraph. Opinions, anyone?