Finding purpose

Process has been well. 

Just that I'm still not producing on the PPC...

Realised I can use the Principle of Comparative Advantage  to increase my overall welfare. o.0 

Trade specialties. Oh yes, in academics. It's an appealing option that's open. So why not?

Need to increase my productive efficiency. To be more competitive. To be able to reap economies of scale. Wait a minute... from where? Never mind the source, I just need to be able to complete things with precision and accuracy.

And the process continues... It will never end. The bar will ever be set higher (by myself), but I do know the limits and the checkpoints (by comparing with others). 

Two points I want to record down here. They have no link whatsoever.

1) I realise I get annoyed when people assume I did nothing when I did (and devoted more in time and effort) just because they did not see me do anything. Anybody will actually.

2) The closer a friend (or brother), the more support one receives. The better one becomes in deflecting any shit that life throws your way too. Good for tiding through hard times in school. I understand what's moral support now. Didn't in the past. BOO... (N)

J2 Life

Almost a month since I blogged...

J2 life is rather routine and boring. Since the start of school, I have always reached home after sunset. Wake up --> Go school --> Listen in lessons (while trying my best to pay full attention, albeit dozing off at times) --> Attend after school activities --> Go home --> Do the ever increasing pile of homework and revise what's been taught --> Sleep

And the cycle repeats itself... Will continue to do so until the end of A levels... (Of course it will intensify first) In spite of this mundane routine, I think I make better use of time this year than the previous...

After school activities are mostly NPCC and NTU H3, each of which takes up 2 days in a school week. Both of which I rather enjoy actually, so they are not much of a problem. Probably why I can survive in my routine. But well, some people have much busier routines than I have, and they have been staying strong... I guess.

Once again, I realise I have an affinity towards juniors and near none towards girls... Not much of an issue... as of yet. The current batch functions differently. Being away from the norm does not matter, as long as it works. 

Emotion and logic. Emotions still predominantly rules my brain. Logic is not completely left out though. Will continue in this way.

I have to bulk up!!! Argh... Must literally FORCE myself. I'm weak yeah... Finding motivation in progress...

Have been "..." for many of my sentences... Describes how "..." I am now... The feeling has been the same... Will it change? 

MMXI

New Year's Resolution: 2011 another year, and the last year before the world ends... ._."

5th of Jan, 4-5 days late in posting...

Unit Chalet was fun and a success. First time so many official documents were created, that there was so much planning and attention to detail. A first for planned unit and squad activity. At least as far the archives didn't have much... Grand achievement and "revolution" for the OT. Good job. I surely enjoyed myself, though not with the group I was supposed to be with (by convention).

J2. No time to think much already. Can't let my mind wonder about relations, people like in the recent past and take away my attention from where it rightfully belongs: academics. I'll probably often feel what I'm experiencing right now. A tad bit tired. Not feeling like doing anything and wondering. "What's my purpose in what I'm doing... What's my aim in life?" Just keep moving and doing what I should. Emotions are powerful tools, but I can't overwhelm myself with it anymore. Enough of it already.

Very interesting how humans work, how the mind and heart works in synchrony. Can predict how some people will react to situations accurately. Many occasions proved the point (to myself). Nice achievement for me, was that a goal last year? Never mind, too lazy to review my posts. My goal this year compared to the previous years' is utterly different. All in all, this skill's still very handy for me.

Social life, the emphasis of last year... can't really say it totally failed or succeeded. Macro, class - fail; CCA - success? Micro, bf - fail; brother - success? Funny, those planned goals failed, the improvised ones faired relatively better.

There's no need to specially go out and try to manipulate relations. Comes naturally with all the other aspects of life. Put in effort, people can feel. Constant effort is enough. No need go out of the way. Go out of the way is unnatural and will most probably not succeed anyway.

NYR: 看开 Seems, simple, but it won't be easy, that's for sure.