One week's gone. Just like that. Rather eventful. Experiential learning works miracles. It really lets me stretch my limits. This June holidays is going to (or should I say is already) testing my physical and psychological limits like never before. Schedule is cramped, free time mostly goes to completing homework and recuperating. Every time I Google Search a word I don't know, I read the meaning, try to force myself to remember, and then conveniently forget when many other events come by to occupy my mental capacity. Have to package information into "vesicles" before transporting them to some part of the brain for safe storage. If not, the information will just break down and will not be found in the form I require it to be in, which is practically useless. I have an inherent weakness I realised, I can understand something which I experience using the 5 senses but when asked to express it, I go stunned for a relatively long period. The resultant expression is of a substandard too, which is why my humanities leave much to be desired. Analysis and evaluation questions for comprehensions often have big fat zeroes beside them. Oh well.
This long course will help me a lot. And so I have several goals, in line with the course objectives:
1) Build my confidence
2) Improve in public speaking (Current level of proficiency = 1% after unit camp, before it was... never mind)
3) Act when the occasion arises, even if I am lukewarm towards it
4) Make new friends
5) Do not screw up my block tests (I do not want to get only 1 E)
The first encounter with cadets went quite well. Most distanced themselves with respect shown, except for some curious ignorant ones who were awed and frightened upon knowing. Although that's rather depressing to me (seem to avoid like the plague), it helps to achieve my objectives and role. As long as I am in control of any situation, anything can be. I suppose I showed myself in a different light with my many "firsts" of opposites of what I usually do, which is the impression imprinted in cadets' minds last year. A complimentary start and I will do well if I follow this progress rate. Have to settle faster than the next batch definitely, and I will struggle to climb the steep hill, but I will manage.
For my busy schedule, several friends still communicate with me, and those are true friends to me. Indeed it is easier to identify close friends when one is busy. Anyone who makes the effort to strike up a conversation frequently when I log in, taking a break from my breath arresting schedule, is a true close friend. If it's primarily about work, it cannot be counted, of course. Genuine interest and concern in another's life makes a good quality in a commendable friend. Albeit the number being little, I pledge, again, to hold them tight.
This week will be a homework completion week. Have to rush through all. Just realised today that I have a thick stack of maths revision questions. Instead of complaining, it'll be better to say "Bring it on." I started to adopt it today (or rather yesterday). Life is short, I seek to make it as eventful and fulfilling as possible.
Everything will be vague and unclear in my concurrent posts, starting from this particular one. Meant only for myself and close friends strictly. Reason being the role I am taking requires me to censor my posts more. Meanwhile, following advice from friends, I have to draw a visible line between personal life and work. Personal interests and relations will not trifle my work etiquette. Need time to get used to it, while I continue double-edging and wincing from my own actions. Once line is drawn explicitly, I will be really glad. That's the best arrangement for maximum efficiency. I guess everyone can understand. However, I sincerely wish to avoid any confrontations that will lead to double edges. Follow the standards and expectations, and one will not find himself in trouble. Unless that person's purposely finding trouble... No one will put a friend in a fix, I hope.
Jiayou to all friends and myself!!! Conquer all bullshits and emerge better people. =)
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