CIBTC's over and I'm officially a P/CI. Posting choice exercise not yet conducted, if it will be in the first place. Don't know which is the official unit I have to serve, but I am serving and will continue serving the one which nurtured me. Am delighted to pass out of the course safely. I look forward to the uncertainties of the future for once. I want to do what I am doing and time spent in action or in preparation is definitely worth spending. Quitting my previous CCA, after all it does not build character but just hard skills. Good for computer engineers and the like, not for me though. Since Sec One, I have realized that IT just isn't my cup of tea. Enough said. Here I am, doing what I like. That's all that matters. Nothing else. The past is an experience, the experience worth remembering, but not dwelling.
Going back to the unit for the first time with my new rank evoked a mix of feelings in me. I have to establish my presence, earn respect. Interesting how strangers hold you in high regard, while acquaintances treat your return as nothing significant externally. Internally I hope it's the opposite... However, I am no psychic. What one shows can be stated as a positive statement that can be proven. I do not really like speculating, albeit I being rather good in it. I do enjoy being back overall. At least some people notice me. That's a start. I had to begin somewhere, didn't I? The people I knew had changed, the distance widened. It actually aids in my adaptation into the CI life, so no major complains. The people I hold close remain, and that's all I ask for. I am satisfied. Seeing people having good relations with others makes me an outcast somehow. I need to build bridges. Solid ones. And the process must be fast. No hiccups allowed.
From CIBTC, I transformed from a person with no initiative and no skills, into one who fulfills the criteria of the course. Looking back at the objectives I set for myself, I can take comfort that I achieved 50% of each goal, except the results of block tests which aren't out. Not as if I yearn myself to be confirmed to be at the bottom of the cohort. It is a sacrifice which I will never regret though. Absolutely. I have to buck up for promotional exams though. Especially Physics. Have to haul in more effort. Hard work needed is measured in truckloads by my current standard which is pitifully miserable. No joke. No lie. Just the plain truth.
Meanwhile, the inaugural YOG is approaching. And I am proud to be a part of it. It isn't always everyday that one can be a member of the team painting history. Servicing the nation gives me a sense of patriotism and achievement. 饮水思源，after all. I shall practice what I have learnt in school. No use parking these values in a corner of the brain and leave it to rot. Bring them out. Infuse them into everyday life. Emerge a better person. To exert greater influence. To automatically command respect and attract attention. And of course, most importantly, to be a wiser individual.
The traditional part of every post which I will seldom miss: the people I love. Yes, love. You can love your close friends. Nothing wrong. Tell them how you truly feel. Pointless in holding back. Pointless in being shy. Pointless in assuming. Pointless in taking friends for granted. What can be achieved out? Nothing. Even worse, the opposite may happen. Why run the risk? No time? Rubbish. If you have to time to slack and facebook, I don't see why there's not enough time. Don't know how to express? Any method can be used. Practice makes perfect. As long as the message is brought across, one can stammer. Doesn't matter. The impact of the message will be there. What for? I can see him rather frequently. Well, while it's true that being together because of CCA or class will draw people closer, get to know each other better, however, few years down the road, you guys will inevitably be separated. And wonderfully because declarations/confirmations were never made before (as you can't be bothered to), you end up drifting apart and eventually lose contact with each other. Reason? This situation often plays itself: A wants talk to B, scared that B will mind, have doubts about himself, afraid of B's response, etc. Vice versa is true also. So what happens? Nothing. Nothing isn't good in this case. Obviously.
Take the first step. It will pay off. Dare to voice out. Do not reverse or halt.
This goes out to whoever bothers reading this, including myself. Simple English is easy to understand, isn't it? Short and sweet. Mostly. =D
No comments:
Post a Comment