Role of friends

Didn't think of posting another blog post.

However, felt strongly for some article I read,

Especially a quote:

"A good friend is like a computer. I Enter in your life, Save you in my heart, Format your problems, Shift you to opportunities and never Delete you from my memory."

From
Mr Masagos Zulkifli
Senior Parliamentary Secretary
Ministry of Education
Chairman
Health Youth Committee (HY-Com)

Message delivered on World Mental Health Day, 10th October 2010

Last accessed 15th October 2010

That's to all my friends. =)

Random

This post will be quite random. Haven't got anything specific to write. The promotional exams are so enticing, I'm so going to flunk it. But I should be able to get promoted without any major problems, I guess. I wonder why maths has been the hard paper for two years running, both Additional Maths last year and H2 Maths this year were extremely mind-boggling. A challenge to the intellect and time management, which I failed to do so this year, sadly. My time management for maths this year was horrible, I could do all the questions and get an A if I didn't try to get myself straddled with some small parts of questions that are very difficult and serve to burn time. Funny I knew they were there to trick people into spending much time on them and I still fell into the trap. 真是明知山有虎，偏向虎山行。And got myself owned big time. =(

After promos, it was time to relax. Have widened the social circle of DotA to include the class of 6G. (Previously it was only one friend, limited to afternoon games only. My class does not play computer games.) It's good because I have no need to play against boring and inflexible AI anymore. It's bad as time will be diverted to socialize and play DotA upon request, which I initiate or which I accept. Game cannot be stopped unlike in AI where you can put the game on hold and reply to MSN instant messages. The reason why I do not reply to friends' messages nowadays. =/ Have no idea of the reason why I feel so empty after promos. Have nothing to accomplish of substance to give fulfillment, I guess. Have to find one, cannot go on like this. Perhaps can go gym to train up. Was inspired by the unofficial volleyball match between two "teams". Something came out of FOS after all. It wasn't full of shit as suggested. Their strength and agility are amazing. All-rounder in strength, agility and intelligence will be great. Even now I am talking in DotA terms. Oh well. Applies to real life too, no harm done. Will carry it out in the long holidays. Have to, my physical fitness is just not good. Will force myself to read up on GP topics too, though most of them do not appeal to me at all. Lost interest in reading after Sec 2. Haiz. Stepped into a library in 2 years with a friend. No books appeal to me though, which is expected. Haven't borrowed a book in 3 years and still counting. Zzz. Life sounds miserable. The talk with another friend, who is very logical, has no shame in mugging and having no life, makes me consider about a relationship with a special, somewhat coincidental friend. Should be satisfied with the level of relation already. Others' opinions indeed do give insight. 当局者迷，旁观者亲嘛。Shall end abruptly here. =)

POP 2010

Yesterday was yet another batch passing out of the unit, along with 2 CIs and the OC Unit. It was rather fun and emotional at the same time.

Can still remember the time when my batch passed out. Lousy venue, lousy organisation, lousy buffet, but at least it still managed to be held. It was memorable though. But I left with lots of regrets. The things which I had wanted to do but were limited due to my low capabilities and low position. Was not enthusiastic at all when I was a cadet. 咎由自取，能怪谁？Became a stand-in NCO via pure time devotion and often went thinking during ATRs. Mr. Ong was really a good OC Unit, his advice was invaluable, although very long. During my batch's POP, at the CIs and OC Unit propaganda and best wishes session, my mind was filled with these thoughts, especially since I received special mention from Mr. Ong during the ceremony. Then, Terence told me to come back as a CI during the shaking hands session. I wondered about it then. "Can I really be one, even without adequate experience?" Now as an inexperienced CI, I witnessed another batch passing out. I knew them for several months only. Was very carefree around them, unexpectedly. Just shot from my mouth what I wanted to say. Hence ended up being labelled as a joker. One said that being lame is equivalent to being funny by today's trend. Made several friends easily from having that character which I naturally take up when I cross JC to HS. Also don't know why the change takes place. I'm usually pretty mind-my-own-business in class and lectures. But then again, my class makes the most noise in lectures and probably tutorials too. Will miss them, developed a connection with some of the NCOs and ExCo / FIs members. But well, I can see them around in JC, just that in J2, I'll probably be more of a zombie than currently. The alumni that came back, officially organised by me via email, led me have a very good time yesterday. Had a better time than our own POP even. We owned an entire bus of 74 except a girl which kindly helped us take pictures, The time utilized at KAP was even better, reminiscence is the word. We caught up with each other on the happenings in our lives and gossiped about everything practically under the sun. IT WAS DAMN ENJOYABLE MAN. I want more times like that! XD The first batch of passed out cadets who came back as alumni =), a rather group too. We started the trend and may it be passed down. I think fate has been rather nice to me. Things have been rather smooth-sailing for me and mostly to my will. Have good colleagues who are willing to guide me along albeit being doubtful of my abilities. Now, after POP, I do have official positions and I'll do my best to guide the unit to greater heights. The feeling is different. Really. 

And towards the end of the KAP journey, with that 无所不谈，completely open mindset with nothing to hide, I was struck with a stark realization. Didn't really care during that time, didn't think much. But I knew what that signified. I already kind of showed my relation to him that some alumni were asking about the actions I did. That alter ego open attitude of mind heck cares about most things and can attract many people as friends. And I can talk a lot with that form. That's good for making friends, but not really good for forging close relations. That alter form of mine tells me to not care about minor details. However, that normal form of mine, which takes in everything (makes it easy to fulfill my responsibility in the CCA), registers in me a message I can't possibly ignore. Friendship is maintained by constant sacrifices made for each other. But sacrifices come in many forms too. The convenience of sacrifice can be considered in evaluating the level of devotion one has for you. A sacrifice made that is convenient is inevitably different from one which is specially done out of the original course of action for someone. Obviously the latter signifies that the person treasures you a lot more. If the level of convenience of sacrifice is similar, then the friendship is a healthy one. If not, it is probably the case of one over-devoting and the other "exploiting". Unhealthy, the time and energy spent can be better spent on someone else who he is neglecting, whether or not he minds. The level of commitment theoretically should be the same for a healthy relationship. I know it. But, the sense of affection is too strong for certain people, the effects of withdrawal from them whenever I try to are varied but they are extremely sore and sour. As I have mentioned before, no siblings implies that the effect is multiplied by a number of times depending on which friend it is. I can't possibly tune down the level of sacrifice if I find indicators of over-commitment as the sense of bond is too strong (albeit it being stronger one way than another). I can only hope the relevant friends hike up their levels to match mine, but it is near impossible as it means diverting attention from elsewhere. Therefore, NO SOLUTION, and it will most probably be status quo. And I remember in chemistry, my tutor loves to say "The rich always donate to the poor, unlike the real world, where the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer." Indeed, why is life so difficult and humans so complex?